Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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