If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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