the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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