I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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