Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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