1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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