finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
