My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
