You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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