happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
