Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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