Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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