Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Randomize
