What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
