I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
