Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
