Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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