Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm just crazy horny about you
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
false alarm, still single
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