the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
