Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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