i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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