Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
