y did u give ur computer a hand job?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
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