We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
