That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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