I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
