I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
