haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
two words...techno handjob
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
