I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Did I show you my penis last night?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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