there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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