He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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