I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
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