Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
