8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
