Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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