Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
