Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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