Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
