I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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