You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Farmville is her only friend.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
