Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
