He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize