so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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