If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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