At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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