I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize