Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
