Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
