birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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