Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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