Say something about gay babies.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize