Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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