If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize