Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
