I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
