to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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