Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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