If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
