I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
