He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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